Just Thinking About Satisfaction

I was working my way through my list of things to do a couple weeks ago. And I had run out of time. I sat to catch my breath and watch the birds for a few minutes. Filling up their bird bath was one thing I didn’t get to that morning. I don’t like when I don’t finish my list so I was not happy that the bird bath was left half full. I was annoyed with the limits on my time (and energy), but the birds clearly weren’t.

They were singing and sipping and then they just jumped right in and took a bath. Have you ever watched birds enjoying a morning bath? It really is one of my favorite things. They just look so happy! They were able to jump in because the water level was lower. Hm. My limitations actually provided them a special, safe, morning splash.

So, as I sat and watched their joy, it got me thinking. My first thought was from Coach Wooden, as often happens. “Things work out the best for those who make the best out of the way things work out.” Indeed. That lady didn’t fill up our bird bath/water spot, let’s jump into this shallow water and enjoy it! Yes…show me the way sweet birds!

There are so many times when I think something is going to be a certain way, and then it’s not. I’m thrown by my expectations. I don’t tend to adjust well. Changes come. Unbidden. Sometimes we just can’t impose our will and make things happen. My little birds could no more fill up that bird bath than they could make it rain. And my life just isn’t going to be mine to control…more often than not. I can choose to grovel in frustration, or I can choose to make the best out of the way things work out. Easier said than done!

I prefer to be in control of how things work out. It feels a lot more powerful that’s for sure. I am quite certain, however, that this pursuit of control is actually a folly. No one is in control. That is just not how life works. I think the pursuit of control, the actual illusion of control, helps me feel safer. I make lists and plan days and weeks and months. I know what I’ll be doing June 5…but do I really? This control I crave, it seems to me, isn’t actually real or achievable. I’m finding that the more committed I am to my plans, the slower I am to adjust when that inevitable curve ball comes. The more certain I am that I’m doing such and such this day and that, the less I seem to be able to lean into changes and recognize the potential opportunities for joy and splashing all around me.

Also, when things don’t go how I hope, plan and work for them to go, I tend toward a discontented, dissatisfied, “not quite” state of being. Not quite enough. Not quite enough money. Not quite enough time. Not quite enough energy. Not quite enough water in the birdbath. Not quite enough work, or answers, or friends, or pets…there can always be more pets. Not quite is a real joy stealer.

As I ponder and write it’s the week after the world of NCAA Division 1 college basketball crowned its national champions. Only two teams became champions—one for the men, one for the women. Everyone else ended their season on a loss. They didn’t quite make it to the championship…the season was not quite what they had hoped. I’ve never met a coach who handled a season ending loss with complete satisfaction. We are trained and conditioned to hope and work and dream and play to win. To win it all. There are a lot of unsatisfied coaches and athletes right now.

Of course one of the teams who ended on a win was my beloved Bruins. I’m thrilled to be celebrating (still and forever!) the UCLA women’s basketball team’s season and tourney run all the way to winning it all. It was QUITE satisfying watching them play an amazing game on the biggest stage and to get to celebrate with them! I’m so happy for them and so proud of the way they lived out their dreams this season. YES and YES and Go Bruins! :)

The deepest part of this satisfaction is in sharing their joy. I love these people, and who doesn’t love seeing dreams come true for people you love? I also know and love a lot of coaches and athletes who didn’t make it to this point. Their basketball bird bath was certainly left half full and they were not satisfied with that in the least. I get it.

I remember finishing MANY seasons that way. I also remember that one year when I got to finish my seasons (basketball and softball in the same year) with national championships…it was nearly 50 years ago now and I still remember it all vividly. I remember our elation in winning, our celebration, our singing “We are the Champions…of the world….” I remember how happy we all were and that sense of YES satisfaction in reaching that height. And I remember also how fast it went away. It scared my 18 year old self, and I had the good sense to realize that there’s more to life than winning and I’d better figure out what that more is…because most of the time we end seasons on losses.

I found what I believed to be my deeper purpose the summer after winning those two national championships at UCLA. At least I found my source for purpose—following Christ. It sounds quite cliche as I type that, but it is honestly true. It has been an imperfect adventure figuring out what it means to follow Jesus. There have been ups and downs, doubts and breakthroughs, joys and sorrows…I’ve been deeply involved in churches and ministries, and I’ve been deeply hurt in many ways. Healing is happening, though, and I continue to learn and grow. No matter how evangelical Christianity has evolved and twisted itself into nationalism and other such strains, I have found a constant friend in Jesus. I think that’s the best way to say it, for now. I think it just may be true that God loves me. That’s a pretty great place to find satisfaction.

To abandon oneself to jump into a half full birdbath requires a certain amount of courage, I think. I’m finding as I let myself adjust to the unforeseen circumstances of life, things seem to be working out. I don’t always understand, but my heart is cared for, I can still be kind and loving, there are surprises, and the splashing about can bring quite a bit of joy. I’m hoping my Bruins remember that when the rush of winning starts to subside. And I’m hoping all of those amazing and wonderful athletes and coaches who didn’t quite reach the pinnacle remember that too. Being loved and loving is the way to go…and it seems to me there’s a larger force in the universe ready to help us with that, if only we will jump in.